Coffee & Confidence ~ The Art of Mansplaining

I have taken to the 'BLAH, BLAH, BLAH' in my head when my sons or husband start talking about something that I have no interest in. Like Computers or Stocks or Cars. You know when anyone, not just a guy starts talking to you & it is like I just don't really care or I just don't want to know?


For an example!

Driving in our car & I asked my spouse about the Ford Edge he found online the other day. My question was about the cost! I got the whole answer of what is in the car, how the car looks, what type of engine (UGH) & gas mileage. I really didn't need any of those explained to me. For me the 2 important factors in buying a car is: how does it drive? & how much? But regardless of my question I got all the details that were beyond my care or concern.

I really heard BLAH, BLAH, BLAH after a point! And when I asked him the question again about the cost & possible financing; he replied he didn't know. Ahhh there is the answer I wanted.


Unlike other women who just roll their eyes, I tell my sons & significant other I do not have any interest in what they are saying, & then I tell them all I hear is BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! They try often to come back & be like you tell me about your nails or hair.

To answer that...I do not!

I tell them I am getting my nails done, & may ask them about the color that I have picked, but I do not say anything about the process of filing, shaping, or the overall process.... I just tell them I am getting them done.


But either way you look at it. It is because all men have to Mansplain everything. It is the talking down to us ladies like we are a little dumb on their topic of conversation. It interests them, which means I have to have a lesson on the whole.


Another example!

My son is all about the stock market these days. Sure! A OKAY with me. It is his money & if he is enjoying being an armchair trader, then giver! However, while my daughter was home for the Christmas holiday she asked her brother about the stocks & he went into great (almost like she had no clue) detail about how it works. She of course was so very annoyed as the answer to her question did not appear for another 10 mins of conversation. She of course vented her frustration with me about the whole ordeal. I do not blame her.


I want to be abundantly clear here. I am sure there are a ton of ladies & other genders that would totally like to hear what my 3 boys say, but I can assure you that there are many topics of conversations that we as people do not want to take part in. We all have interests & we all got things that bore us too. I am just using my poor males in my home as my example.


Moving on!


Mansplaining is when a man (or maybe we should say a know it all) talks about a topic of conversation that they are knowledgeable about & they tend to talk down to you about that topic.


I have been told all sorts of things about stuff that I have no interest in. Some of them I may have to apply in life one day, but for the most part the princess in me doesn't want to or have too! So while I may not need to know now, I don't want to know until I have too.


So ladies here is my solution for Mansplaining in our world.

Ready...


When there is a group of guys together they talk to each other the same way they explain something to us. Basically it is a man's way of chatting. So take this under consideration when they talk to you... this is how they all talk to each other. It is not necessarily in the put down negative connotation but they go through in every detail & the other gent is usually engaged as it is a topic they too love. However, usually us ladies get dragged into the conversation somehow & either we are peaked in interest, or we have no desire, or we only have a smidge of curiosity. Most of the time though it is details that have nothing to do with what we want to know or ask.

How to solve this???

Well dare I say, interrupt them with a basic question on what you want to know & most men cannot help but answer your basic question.

Example:

My son was talking stocks & I wanted to know what app he used in the whole world of stocks. So originally when I asked this he started to go on & on about the apps that are out there & that he used the one for a certain reason. What was a simple question became an answer in Mansplaining. I never really got the answer I wanted so I interrupted him with another simple question of is the app you use this? To which he replied yes, & then went on explaining...that is where I have to admit that I checked out. I got the answer I wanted & then heard the Blah, Blah, Blah.


I have explained this to my daughter & my son's girlfriend. If you do not want to know what the details are or how they are delivering the message. Simply interrupt them with a question like 'I understand what you are saying, but how much exactly did you buy the stock for?' Even if they continue on & on after that point....you got what you needed.


I hope that this makes sense. All our partners do this in some way or another. But there is a way around this. Give this a try. The art of getting around the Mansplaining!


I do want to say here as a disclaimer. I do not dismiss my boys' interests even if they are not mine. They are able to enjoy what they enjoy because we are all built differently. It also needs to be said that I do not agree with the negative meaning of Mansplaining. I think that men don't 'talk' down to us when explaining something on purpose or an abuse of power, but they do it as if we were children. Men like all parents explain something to small children with great detail & although the perception is that they are talking down to us ladies, it really is because they think we are also simple minded & need the simple explanation.


I want you women out there to give this a try & tell me if it works for all of you.

Try your best at beating the art of Mansplaining.


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