I was thinking the other day about how I am basically without the older wiser Mother figure in my life.
But I had to get to this point in life with some sort of wise female role models to make me who I am & influence my outlook.
This is for them.
I was never close to my mother, not even now.
It is hard to shape esteem or morals without the parents involved in your life.
Even at the age of 40+.
I ran a 10k a few years ago & at the end of the race I cried.
I cried because I did it!
I cried because I knew my mother would not then or ever be proud of me.
I cried because I wanted from her what I couldn't have.
Since I was young I have been fiercely independent & as I got older I just figured I didn't need the Mother like relationship. Man I was wrong, because these last few years I have been searching for it.
Although for me it was all about the connection to my Mother, it truly is the women who surround me.
She may not be part of my tribe, but I have these amazing ladies that have been.
My teen years, boyfriend's mother!
She was instrumental in allowing me to be me!
I didn't have to hide my crazy, funny thoughts.
She gave me a world that I didn't know existed.
Taught me to clean, cook, & self care.
I had grown up in a home that was not clean, I did not learn how to cook, & the idea of maintaining my looks were far reaching.
If it was not for this woman I would not be the person I am today.
Her & I did not see eye to eye when I was younger.
In fact there were even bra destroying accusations thrown around when I was 12.
(Side note I did not do it.)
There was a great big family gathering when I got older married with kids & her & I aired out the laundry. We figured out that there were a lot of mis-truths told about me to the rest of the family.
Our relationship grew from there.
Her & my Uncle became my children's favorite people.
She gave me as close as I could get, Mother's love!
She called, she cared, she talked, she listened, she gave advice, she understood.
Her personality is similar to mine, & because of this it gave us both an ability to understand the other.
Over the last few years we have drifted apart a little, no fault but both of ours, however, I know if she needed me or I needed her, we would be there for each other.
I love her immensely.
My Birth Grandmother!
It was in my late teens that I met this charismatic woman.
She is spunky, lovable, tells it like it is, & just plain entertaining.
She holds life in her hands & tries to make the best of it.
We did not speak for a few years, but eventually Facebook brought us together again.
And now, I am not sure I would know what to do without her.
We do not chat 'often' but enough that she can build me up.
She fills my cup with love & support.
Make me feel amazing, special & unique.
She is exactly what I always wanted in a parent ... especially since she is the Tree to my Apple!!
The Mom In Law!
This lady gave up so much of her life to work in order to make sure her sons & husband had a great life. I am not sure if she even really liked her job, but she did it without complaint.
Although sometimes our relationship is strained, she has ALWAYS been there for us.
She is an amazing person that will step into any situation to assist.
She took care of our cat & her kittens right after the babies were born.
She was the one who stepped up & nursed her own mother in law when the rest of the family was unable too.
She would give us anything.
Her love is sometimes all I need.
With no Mother relationship, I do have one in her!
Thank you my Mom (in law) for being what I am lacking in parents.
I got a few ... that is a lie, I got a lot!
They in all their own ways build up me & fill in the lacking I have in a Mother role.
There is my school mom friend that is always trying to help me succeed & she is my calm to my very wacky storm!
There is my travel buddy who always will allow me to spill my guts when I am ready. Never any pressure ever.
There is my camping & games evening friend who always has an ear when I drink & talk too much, but she will also put me in my place too.
There is my volleyball gal, to whom I use as my backup date to all football games & well, she is sincerely as 'out' there as me.
My ex-coworker friend, who honestly knew more than anyone else in the last few years & we didn't even talk all that often, but she would always check in on me.
There are so many more that I could not have lived without! It honestly would take another 10 paragraphs just to mention them all! But they are all a part of my Tribe.
These ladies all did something to help me grow.
She held me together.
She made me realize that the relationship I had as a child was not a healthy one.
She is one of my best friends.
She allows me to wallow, cheer, be nuts, & sad.
My sons also do the same & they are great, but there is something a little different with a daughter.
It was almost like these last 10+ years we both built each other's self esteem, & our personality.
She is the 1st person I call when I get good news, & the same goes with her.
Last but not least.....
Every single one of the women who take a minute that is for someone else.
Like some lady I have never met that compliments my hair.
A woman sitting with me at a barbershop & we bond over the world of raising boys.
The lady that is behind me in some sort of line & fixes my tag sticking out of my shirt.
The tribe of women who may not know my baggage, but go out of their way to keep that bond of womanhood.
The community of Ladies in the world!
These magical & influential women helped shape me.
They allowed me to be my own person.
They championed me when I needed to be cheered.
They gave advice to help me through situations.
THEY ARE MY TRIBE!
Do you have your own tribe?
Do you have that female love to get you through the hard times?
Have you thanked them lately?
Do not go through this world alone.
Anyone can be your tribe; even me!
They will always know how to support & love you.
They will always have your back.
They will be YOURS!
Only as You, Me, Us as Women can we be mindful of each other's needs & make sure the community of strength is forever.
You got this girl!
You are a part of a world of amazing women.
Coffee in one Hand; Confidence in the Other!!