I have mentioned a few snippets here & there about my oldest (our daughter) going off to school in the US of A & how it fundamentally changed everything for me.
When all this Covid crap hit & the federal government announced that the border between Canada & US was going to be closed to all non-essential traffic, we told our kid it was time to come home & finish her on-line classes here in Canada.
A little back story on the Covid world & her education down in Washington State. Her school is in Pullman Washington, a little College town 90mins south of Spokane & whose population swells double the size when College is in session.
Washington State University home of the Cougars!
In spring of this year (2020) when the western world was being closed off & forever changed, we decided with our girl that she should stay there after Spring Break. Mostly due to the fact that she was a Music Major & needed to be able to have access to her French Horn Professor. The other reason was that she had a job on campus & she would make more in American mula versus Canadian Dollars! However, with the border closing, I admit I panicked. So I told her to come home & she had to do everything virtually.
These past few months was the most time she has spent at home in the last few years. It was a whole new world out there & in our little Nest (home). The only one who really got to leave the house everyday was the hubby! So needless to say, I got way more time with my daughter.
If you don't know, let me tell you that I am extremely blessed beyond belief. My daughter & I are very close. We often say we are the 'Gilmore Girls', & we even have matching tattoos of the opening line in the TV series. 'Where you lead' on my arm & 'I will follow' on her ribs. My mother once said 'I hope to hell you have a daughter like you one day.' Haha MOM, I did not! I do not have the relationship with my parents that my daughter has with me.
So with this time home with my daughter & all the crazy stuff we did over Covid shut-down, it was amazing to see the adult she has become.
It has also been very therapeutic for me for her to be around longer than 3 months. It was nice to fight, glam up, shop online, chat, drink, nails & all the other crazy stuff we do together.
Normally when it is time for her to return to University, we pack up our trailer & make a epic camping trip out of it. Drive down to Spokane, camp there. Spend a day or 2 going to Pullman & catching up with her amazing roommates (who I call my American Babies) & her friends. It is always something we really love. This year, with borders still closed, that was not in the cards.
So we revamped the moved down arrangements & made a week of camping in British Columbia. There was some great beach days, a burnt a**, & always crazy laughs & fun!
When the day came where we took her & all (lots of clothes) to the border where her one roommate met her on the other side, I thought I was going to have the same reaction as I have had in the past. I have generally have previously felt a hole in my life & in our family. I was generally moody & on the verge of tears every time we went through these motions.
This year, even though it is always sad to say 'bye' & give big family hugs; I felt replenished. I had my water for the last few months & that I knew she was going to be okay, as well as I!
It could be all the extra time I had with her this year.
But I think I am realizing that I used her as my importance to live, I have acknowledged that she nor her brothers are the reason I am here. They are not my air, they are my loves, but not the reason I live.
This her Senior year looks very different from her past years, but to be honest it is for her a new adventure. As it is for me. I now know that they cannot create my happiness.
My happiness is only within me.
She has the tools & strength to know what she is supposed to do during this crazy time. The panic I felt earlier in the year when the seams were bursting for the world, is not there this time. These few months together gave me the gift of knowing she is a independent woman & she will be just 'A OK'! The panic is gone!
Every parent lives their lives for their child.
I was no different.
So here I am telling all of you, that my girl is about to live a wonderful Senior year, but she didn't take my happiness with her this year.
As I often say, 'Go Find Your Happiness'.
Do it friends, find your Happiness.
Happy Senior Year A***Bear!