I have surgery on August 24th.
It is a basic procedure with a time duration of 38mins.
Nothing too serious, I just have a cyst on my one ovary that is beginning to inhibit the way I live.
I am good with all of this.
However, the weight of certain thoughts are playing through my mind.
I had a friend who was likely the Nicest person I have ever met.
We were not super close type friends but we spent many sports games, music nights & carpooling together.
Our spouses also knew each other through work & therefore it was an easy time together when we ran into each other at these school events for our kids.
It was quite literally years we had known each other, my daughter, their son from Kindergarten to Grade 12. Our second sons were even friends through most of the same years as their older siblings.
On top of all that we live in the same neighbourhood, so on more than one occasion we saw them around our neck of the woods. There was always pleasant chatter about the kids & life.
I could sit & chat with her forever.
We both had 3 children & we could compare stories, philosophies about raising them, help with input to successes for their lives. She was always a great listening ear, & I would jump to help her out as much as I could. She did the same for me. Championing my kids success, & every year a Birthday wish. Every YEAR!
So we headed to Lowe's one night & lone behold (not shocked) her & her significant other there. Of course we chatted for a little about all sorts of things, & I quietly noted in my mind that she looked tired. More than usual, but you never know what is going on behind closed doors, & to be super honest we were not that type of friends to share those secrets anyways.
Unbeknownst to me, she was struggling with some Gallbladder issues. They had been plaguing her for quite some time & eventually it led up to her having the gallbladder removed on an urgent basis. But when they went to do the surgery, they found there was Cancer & a lot of it.
The rest of the intimate story isn't for me to tell.
What I can say is from that last time I saw her at Lowe's to when she passed away was only 12 weeks.
I along with my husband were shocked. Completely taken back that this even happened to her. We were quick to send our condolences to her family & I tried to find a way to cope. Even though she was not my best friend, she was everything a friend should be. I envied her & adored her in the same breath.
How could something like this happen?
I know that I was not part of her innermost closest circle, but I would be lying if I said it did not affect me at all.
So tying the 2 together.
My dear friend, again one of the nicest people I know, went for a routine surgery only to pass way shortly after.
That is where my mind goes.
I am going to have a simple procedure & what if my outcome is similar?
How did she handle it & prep her 3 children for her end?
I think about this too.
I know generally people's lives do not mirror one another, & I know that the rhyme or reason never makes any sense when it comes to Cancer & who it selects.
I just can't help but wonder, is this going to be the same outcome for me?
I had a different minor surgery about 18 months ago & I can tell you that I always go in with positive thoughts. I am fairly confident when I am about to do anything that may cause me weakness or angst.
Long drives in nasty weather, surgery, normally these do not get me wound up as I figure if I go slow or have faith it will turn out ok. Then it will.
But this time, I can not help but wonder about my friend.
Did she feel the same way?
She was a cautious but amazingly confident in our healthcare system, did she think it would be all okay?
I miss the days of feeling young & invincible.
We are living through the age now where more & more the people you know are going to start leaving this world. With wisdom & age your life all of a sudden is more fragile.
My outlook is definitely different than it was when I was 18.
I know I can break a hip.
I know I can break an arm.
I know I can get Cancer.
I know that I am living the other end of my life.
I am not scared to die.
That has never been my fear.
I do fear missing out on the lives of the ones I love.
I will be okay, & if not you will all know that I am not.
I will tell you....
But here is the point to this whole blog & Just Another Manic Funday!
Live your life to the fullest.
Love like it is your last.
Be who you want to be!!
You never know when it will be over or impending, & did you do all you wanted to do?