Trapped

Eight minutes ago I was going to be on a plane to a sunny destination in Mexico.

Yes people I was going to sit at a pool, drink lots & visit my birth grandmother in Puerto Vallarta.


But yesterday that all changed with the government deciding to create more restrictions for people traveling internationally. So I didn't get on that plane.


Okay, the disappointment is fierce today & I admit I am a little heartbroken. Who doesn't need a little bit of sunshine & happiness in this world we currently live in?


I haven't had the winter travel experience to somewhere warm & sunny like Mexico until last year. I had no idea what I was missing.... I mean we had done the whole Vegas trip in January a couple of times, a few years back. But Vegas is nothing like Mexico.


Here let me explain!

When we go to Vegas it is for 4 days no more & I usually come back with liver pain & exhaustion. But in Mexico that is a different story completely. Last year my 2 sons were home alone for the week (yes they were old enough) & the stress about leaving them, the house, my car (oldest son was driving it) & the cats was immense. We have lots of family & friends that would help the boys out if they needed it but the mommy stress was there & overwhelming. However, that 1st morning I woke up in Mazatlan & hearing the birds outside, I thought to myself....well if they (the sons) burn down the house, I will deal with it next Saturday! All the stress & concerns just evaporated into thin air.....poof gone. (Just an analogy folks…. If that did happen I am sure we would have handled it appropriately.)


I sooo very much needed the same for this year.


I get it! I do! Don't travel unless you have too!

Follow the rules, keep your distance, wear your mask, take the tests. I was more than willing to jump through these hoops to go. I did what I could to cover the possible 'negative' outcome for going. Bought additional insurance for travel & Covid. I even had 500 paper masks to wear over the week. And I don't want to lie, but chilling with my oldest son would have been great.


Okay, no more whining about what I am missing.

No scratch that....this is the whole point of this post is this.


Everywhere around the city are the signs that say " Stay Positive, Test Negative, We Got This Calgary".

But come on let's get real.....

We have been going through this together for 11 months on February 1st & we aren't together....we are apart.


We are trapped.

Trapped in our country.

Trapped in our province.

Trapped in our city.

Trapped in our homes.


I cannot even tell you how much I miss just my friends & my social interactions with them. I got the same 4 people in this house everyday & every night. 24hrs a day....the same. My daughter was home for Christmas, but she had to go back to University in the states & the month she was here was not long enough. It was just a new dynamic that I think we all needed in the little nest we call home.


Okay, I can't leave my country! Got the message....although I would have still gone given the choice. Sorry friends I hate to admit that. Don't judge me on that front.

B.C. our neighbor next door doesn't want us either folks. They have made that loud & clear.


Trapped. Not leaving Canada & not leaving Alberta!


I am usually that person that always has the hope & the ability to look on the bright side of things. Very rarely do I feel the doom & gloom about life. I mean I have many times had a hard time finding my hope for sure. But most of the time if the sun is out I can smile & believe that there is always a new day.


This is not one of those posts. NOPE! NO! It is NOT!


Mr. Prime Minister says with a smirk on his face that, "all Canadians that want to be vaccinated will be by September of this year". Never mind that is not likely going to happen; it was the September that bothered me along with the smirk on his face. Does he know that is month 9 & we are just finishing month 1! I am not even sure it was the month that bothered me or was it the grin on his face. I mean come on buddy....that isn't hope at all more like a little slap in the face. 9 months of hope people… 9 months!!!! I also know that because I am a blogger & work from home, if all the vaccinations are delayed.....I won't be seeing one till likely December....Merry Christmas 2021?


Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Yes I know there is...yes I know this won't be forever; yes I know that we all have to do our part to keep everyone safe...I GOT IT!


I am just over sitting on the couch every night watching TV. I can't even remedy that by going outside for a walk as this is winter in Canada & winter here means COLD! I am feeling a little stir crazy or in this case to go with the title of this blog....Trapped.


Don't worry I will continue to follow the rules!

I won't be going to a sunny destination any time soon.

I will adhere to the government guidelines.

I will wear my mask (as it keeps my face warm in the subpar weather).

I will wash my hands & use sanitizer.

I will think of the families that have lost loved ones through & because of this pandemic.


But most of all, I will write about what this whole experience has done to create my mental disparities. I will not suffer through this all by myself & quietly. Nor should any of you!!


To you the government, you keep doing what you have to, just remember that all these people have feelings, despair & not necessarily the means to get the assistance they need to get through all of this.


I am not leaving on a jet plane....I am sitting here at my computer.

And I would say that I am good now that I wrote all this; but that would be a lie.


I hate leaving this on a negative note.

So, here is what I got ....

I am going to publish my new formatted website this week.

I am going skiing with the son that was to join me in Mexico.

I am not making dinner this week....the spouse can do that.

I am considering getting a tattoo instead. I tried to get a kitten, but the hubby said no!

I am going to do a course to help make this blog a little more financially beneficial for me.

Workout, write, &.... I am sure that there is a whole lot of TV & couch time in there too!


It may not have been what I wanted it to be, but I do have to make the best of it.

So here is little old me trying to set up my life for what was supposed to be a reprieve from the chaotic mess we all live in.


Disappointment is life & all I can do is try & learn & move forward.

Damn journey of life..... but I got it!

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